Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
ok first of all what the fuck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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