you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
