Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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