do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
