she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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