If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
