She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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