Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
