Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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