**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
