Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
