We're facebook friends in real life
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
