Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
