So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize