Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
