Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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