stop calling my apartment porn island.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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