I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
