I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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