I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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