I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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