Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
