Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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