I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
