U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
