i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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