I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize