Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
