So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
