A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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