How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dear god my vagina.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
