Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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