it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
