Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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