No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
