i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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