I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
