that's an acceptable place to lick
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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