just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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