those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have fence marks all over my body
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
