I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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