One girl and one boy is just not enough.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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