I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
