he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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