She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize