Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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