I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
