oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
