I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
