saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
