she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
