I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
