I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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