should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
