i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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