Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
