According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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