You can't special order awesome
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
