I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just want to make out with him forever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
