he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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