I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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