you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
