Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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