You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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